A little cold water

magicmolly:

Maybe it is the perennial burden of the late bloomer, but I am thinking—all the time!— about morality. In high school while everyone else did shots and disappeared into bedrooms (I learned way too late how the one lead to the other), I drank a glass of water in the kitchen and thought about making toast. Also the morality of not doing tequila shots, the morality of not yanking a thong up to my bellybutton. The morality, in general, of refusal.

It was so much easier to say No and so much less fun. But see, how could I know? At the end of senior year my friends had wonderful memories but not many of them, and certainly no regrets. On the other hand, I was left with many memories of not much happening. Of making a bagel at 4 AM in someone’s parents’ kitchen; of driving home in the morning without a hangover, of watching other people dance, barf, make out and knock things over while I compiled To-Do lists in my head.